October 5, 2009

On how little girls are mean and beautifully confident RAs rock

1234Once upon a time I was a little girl growing up in Miami, Florida. Of course I had other little girls as friends, especially those from school. Well one day two of my little girl friends were talking about being pretty. One little girl, let's call her Mary, said, "My mom told me that little girls that are ugly grow up to be pretty." The second little girl, let's call her Katy, said, "Well then A-C (ie me), you're going to grow up to be beautiful!" It just so happens that I grew up with both these girls and even graduated high school with one of them. (the other transferred out before our Junior year.) I am absolutely positive that they would not be able to remember this conversation, yet it has remained with me ever since then. Right about now you might be thinking, well A-C-J, you're all grown up now, assuming their theory was right, you're beautiful! Yea, except no. You see, my face has not changed my entire life. Exhibit A is the picture of me as Snow White in 2nd grade, I was 8. Exhibit B is a picture of me earlier today. In fact, the last time I was home I looked through an album and found a picture of me at 2 months old where you would recognize the baby as me. So in essence, I still look like the same little girl that was told about 15 years ago that when I grow up I'll be pretty because right now I'm ugly. Now, I know 15 years is a long time to carry something so negative with you. But I can't help it. It was just one of those defining moments that has stuck with me.
It has taken a very long time and the help of at least a couple boyfriends and my wonderful fiance to make me believe that I am attractive and can be beautiful. This whole process, however, was not started by a boy telling me how pretty I am. It was in part started by an amazing and inspirational woman by the name of Theresa. Theresa was my Residence Hall Adviser for my hall my freshman year of Undergrad. One night, while feeling particularly low, she decided to cheer me up. I don't remember *exactly* what she said, but her whole point was that in order to feel attractive I had to feel confident. I had to believe that I was attractive in order for others to see me that way. She then continued with her crazy silliness and told to me to "work it."
Well, its taken a while, but I feel like I've finally put those little girls and their mean comments behind me. I don't always feel pretty or even attractive, but at least some of the time I do. This is a huge improvement, trust me. So now, rather than think of mean little girls, I try to think of an amazing woman whom I admire a whole lot. Thank you Theresa!

*** I have in fact changed names to protect the not so innocent***

1 comment:

A-C said...

Theresa's response: Oh A-C, I'm in tears! What a sweet, beautiful, intelligent and FIERCE woman you are. I'm so fortunate that I was able to experience life with you during my first year at school. You have no idea how you girls helped to save me from serious pain and loneliness. I'm truly thankful that we shared a sidewalk on this journey.

Now, hold your head high, stick your chest out (yep, the boobs/the girls) and WORK IT!

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