Hair and the Law

  Sometime last week, someone asked me if I was pregnant.  I vehemently said NO!  It got me thinking though, not about pregnancy, but about my body.  The question made me feel chunky if not outright fat.  I mean, why else would anyone ask if I'm pregnant if I don't look larger than normal, right?  This made me feel bad.  And I realized how my feelings about myself are tied to my feelings about my body.  For many women, their body is their self and there is no separation.  For others, their perception is tied up in their hair.  I feel that way sometimes too.  When my hair is long and wavy and behaving, I feel young and sexy.  When its up and sleek I feel professional.  Luckily for me, I'm able to go from one extreme to another.  Other ladies, however, have a more complicated relationship with their hair.  My friend Neubia is one of these.  Her hair isn't just a thing on her head, but rather its a symbol of culture and heritage that is inevitably intertwined with her sense of self.  So I asked her to write a post on her hair and the choices she's made with regard to it.  Here is her story:

Law school sucks! Sorry, there is just no other way to put it. What makes it suck more is when your freedom of expression (i.e. individuality) is hampered as a result. Of course, now that I am a lawyer practicing in Fayetteville, NC, I understand that my alma mater, in voicing concern with my stylistic choices, was simply trying to prepare me for what I would face in the real world.  So what is the faux pas freedom of expression I've engaged in . . .

I HAVE LOCS! Some of you may know them as "Dreadlocks."   Screw that! There is absolutely nothing dreadful about my hair.  Hence, the shortening of my choice of hair style to just locs, rather than dreads.

I came into law school with natural hair. That is, I did not use chemicals to alter the texture of my hair.  Most of the time, I wore an afro. Sometimes I would wear braids or twists.  During my second year, I decided to embrace the tight coils that my hair often created on its own. One of the first comments I received when declaring that I was locing my hair (because in my early stages of locing, it just looked like I had twists), was whether I was considering a career at a firm.  Well, truth be told, I wasn't, but even if I was, if a firm is unwilling to hire me because of the grade, texture and stylistic choices I make with my hair, then I am unwilling to work there!

Making the decision to loc is not easy.  When most folks think of locs, they think of a chain such as this . . . Bob Marley, pot, rebel, Rastafarian, slacker, etc.  Well, as much as I enjoy Bob Marley, and consider myself a bit of a rebel, I am not a pothead, and I am a Christian.  I am also . . . (DUN, DUN, DUN) a lawyer.  That's right, people who wear locs are successful business types with expensive ass degrees from private schools, too.

There are 0, count it 0 other attorneys in this city with locs.  The word on the street is that the one guy who did have locs fell prey to the pressure and cut his off.  I refuse to conform! When I walk into court (most of the time to observe for now because we have local rules that take some getting used to) all eyes are on me.  In fact, one morning, I walked into the lawyers only area behind the courtrooms (exiting a courtroom) and was chased down by a bailiff.  "Can I help you?" he barks with his hands on his assault a black person belt.  "Excuse me?" I reply wearing WTF on my face.  "You can't be back here if you aren't a lawyer."  "Well, good news for you sir! I am a lawyer. Were you going to arrest me?" I proceed to fire off questions to him in rapid succession, none of which he is able to respond to because his face is still on the floor.  He walked away, likely still in awe that I, yes, the chick with the locs, was a lawyer. FFFFFFF you and the bus you rode in on!

While this moment was as heartbreaking as it was entertaining, I consider it one giant leap for nappy girls everywhere.  Do not underestimate us because we make the choice not to introduce chemicals into our world.  We can run with the rest, and indeed the best of them. So the next time you see someone with locs, take off your cap of ignorance, and don't make assumptions about them.  Each one, teach one.

Balancing Act

     I can't believe its May already!  Or hell, past the first week of May even!  Last time you heard from me I had been sworn in.  Since then I've gotten to actually practice law.  Its been pretty cool.  I feel a lot more comfortable going to court now that I can actually do things in court.  That and since I got sworn in I've pretty much been only wearing suits.  Before I got sworn in I would wear suits every now and again when I knew I would be seeing a client, but lately, suits have been a daily outfit choice.  That's not to say that I've gotten completely boring and *only* wear suits and button downs, however.  Instead I've gone for suits with interesting details.  For example, this blazer is the jacket half of a skirt suit I bought last weekend.  Unlike other black suits that I own, this one is short sleeved, which is perfect for the warmer weather.  Its also makes a more casual outfit more formal without going all the way to formal (if that makes sense?).  

    In addition to buying the suit that this jacket belongs to, I also bought this blouse (and a couple of others) as well as these heels.  It doesn't seem like the most responsible thing in the world, but I've needed new work clothes for a while, so I let myself have a mini-shopping spree.  I didn't go buck wild and in fact stayed at only one store.  I bought the one suit, 2 blouses, 1 embellished tee and 2 pairs of heels.  A pretty awesome take if you ask me.  The way I see it, its an investment in my image and place as an attorney.  There is a certain look I think I need to cultivate that is primarily formal but definitely personal.  I don't want to be a lawyer in a cookie cutter suit, so personal style is a must.  At the same time, however, I definitely want to maintain the right amount of formality.  Its a fine line, I think, and one that I'm figuring out as I go along.  

The Details:
Blouse: Anne Klein
Suit Jacket: Rafaella
Pants: Gap
Heels: Nine West  

Oh and hey look, I accidentally ended up doing the Everybody/Everywear challenge on the right day too! 

Swearing In

     Sooo its been a crazy 3 weeks since the last time I posted.  I promise I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, its just that life has been spectacularly busy.  The big news since the last time I posted is that I got sworn in!  It was pretty great.  I made my sister and The Fiance hold the Bible for me and all the staff from the office got to watch too.  Here are the pictures: 

In the office getting ready to head to the courthouse.

Everybody standing just after the Judge walked into court.

My Sister and The Fiance holding the Bible as I take my oath.

I just got sworn in!

My super proud and supportive (and cute!) Fiance

My Wonderfully supportive little sister

My Wedding Dress Story

     Clearly, this dress is WAAAAAAAAAAY too long.  But I just haven't been able to get it hemmed yet.  So I've worn it as is a few times.  I got it last summer.  J.Crew was having a factory outlet sale where I got this dress and this red dress.  On top of the ridiculously low prices, we had a 20% off coupon, so both dresses ended up being ~$50.  
    Oh, AND I bought my wedding dress there too.  For $32.34 if I remember correctly.  I'm sure you're wondering how one buys a wedding dress for that much, but let me tell you, every once in a while I have the most amazing shopping serendipity you could imagine.  
     So here's the story.  My friend Jenn and I went to the outlet on a Thursday and I bought the first two dresses.  We decided to go again the next morning with some friends because they hadn't had a chance to go.  So when we went the second time, since we had already looked through most of the things there, we decided to go through the formal dresses.  Let me go ahead and explain how the store was set up.  The sale took place in a vacant building where the J.Crew people set up folding tables with boxes of clothes on and under each table.  Each box had a size and category like sweater or pants or whatever.  There were no dressing rooms so people were trying things on however they could in the middle of this big room.  Oh and there was no air conditioning either. 

     So Jenn and I were digging through the formal dresses and the wedding dresses and I pulled out a few in varying shades of white, ivory and champagne.  I tried them on on top of the dress I was wearing to see if they fit and one looked pretty good.  One passed this initial test so we walked on over to the wall so that I could shimmy into the potential wedding dress and out of my springy dress.  Luckily we had a guy friend with us and after getting his boy approval along with my mom's text approval, I bought the dress.  The Fiance knows about the dress of course.  Luckily he hasn't gotten curious about it as its been chilling in a garment bag in an upstairs closet since I got it.  Here is where I would normally put up a picture of the dress, but since I know the Fiance checks the blog every now and again, I can't post it. For those of you that have bought wedding dresses, what's your wedding dress story?

The Details:
Dress: J.Crew
Tank: Old Navy
Sandals: Aerosoles
Necklace: Consignment

useless

     I wore this a few weeks ago to work.  This of course was before I found out about my bar exam results.  But really, nothing's changed.  I can't practice law until I've been sworn in and I can't be sworn in until after I get my license.  And it will take a good 3 weeks for that to happen.  So, while I've received good news, now I get to sit around and wait for a piece of paper to get to my house.  *sigh*  At least if I'm going to be useless still, its only for a limited amount of time, right? RIGHT?!?!?
    So yea. . . I don't have a whole lot to say other than, um, thanks for dropping by! (?)  I'm tired guys.  I got up at 6:25 so I could get to work by 8 to go to an all day deposition.  I'm hoping for some cuddles then sleep soon as I'm feeling kinda useless I'm so tired.  So I hope you have a great Wednesday!
 



The Details: 
Henley: Old Navy
Skirt: Liz Claiborne (consignment)
Tights: Hanes
Booties: Tsubo

Thanks!

     How often do you say thank you? I try to say it after every time someone does something for me. The truth is that, sometimes that just doesn't cover it. And while I sometimes wonder what I would say if I were recognized in front of my peers á la the Oscars, that's just not going to happen.  Sadly there are no awards shows for lawyers or daughters or sisters or wives.  So instead, tonight, I give you my Oscar speech, because I have quite a bit to be thankful for.

     
     I have big news for you, I just found out Monday evening that I passed the bar.  I am so excited about this accomplishment, it’s hard to describe.  But in reality, I'm not the only that should take credit for it.  Yes, I studied for the exam and took it, but for the support of the people that matter the most in my life, I would not be here.  So for that, thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.
     First, my parents: thank you for teaching me to persevere.  For supporting me in whatever manner you could after I found out I failed and for teaching me to keep trying until I passed.  Thank you for believing in me, for praying for me, for telling me you love me.  Thank you for being great examples of leadership and wisdom.  
     To my teachers and professors: thank you for offering your support, even after I had left the halls in which you teach.  Thank you for taking the time to care, sending me an email and congratulating me on Facebook in adorably dorky ways.  Thank you for sharing with me your passion for the law and learning, even if it wasn't strictly in the syllabus.  
    Thank you to the Firm.  Without your support and understanding that I needed to take 2 months off to study, I may not have been able to pass.  Thank you for being flexible and not judging me as a failure back in August.  
     To my friends, thank you for being supportive as well.  It made me feel better to think that you all were astonished at my failing and that you fully expected me to pass this second time around.  Thanks for the cards, the pep talks and the reality checks.   
     To my sister, there is more to you and I than just sisters. 
We are friends, and for that friendship I am thankful.  For your help with X-mas gifts to giving me a place to stay while I took the exam, thank you.
     Thank you to my Fiancé.  Thank you for holding my hand, for telling me it would all be ok when I needed it, and for kicking my butt in to gear when I needed that instead.  Thank you for understanding when I needed to chill in the bathtub for a while or that walking Bella wasn't just for her benefit.  Thank you for the discovery that Sam Adams Cherry Beer + chocolate chip cookies is just what I need sometimes.  Thank you for being my biggest fan.

Waiting. . .

     Remember when I mentioned that I would be wearing my new suit soon?  (I wouldn't blame you if you didn't---it was a while ago)  Well I did and here are the pictures to prove it.  I went a bit crazy with the purple + gray combo and made sure EVERYTHING I wore was either gray or some shade of purpley-wine.  But ya know what? I liked it!  I felt put together in my matchy-matchy-ness.  
    Oddly enough, this outfit, while being classically conservative, what with the skirt suit, hose and heels, just isn't all that conservative on me the way I've styled it.  Example #1, those aren't hose, they're gray tights!  Now the difference between gray tights and let's say bright peacock blue tights is lightyears, but when we're talking about the law, one of THE most conservative arenas on this planet, gray tights instead of skin colored hose or black tights is kinda risky.  
     AND I'm not wearing gray shoes either!  I know rule #1 about lengthening legs is to wear the same or similar colored hosewear + shoes, but long leggedness be damned!  I just wanted to be matchy.  So instead of opting for gray heels, I went with wine colored ones that matched my tee and necklace quite nicely.  These also happen to be one of my favorite pair of shoes in my closet right now.  I've worn them to match some purple shades in an outfit (like this one) or to completely contrast (and confuse the HELL out of one of my co-workers) with a turquoise top and white pants.  (post to follow later this week).  I love their versatility especially since they're patent and not black.  I'm all for having a pair (or several) of great black shoes, but having some unexpected color in your shoes just rocks. 

Let's ignore the hair in my face, K?

    So for those of you that are counting, the third way this outfit is slightly quirky on the conservative scale is my headband.  It has a bow on it.  Plenty of people will tell you that in order to be taken seriously, a woman can't show any personality.  At the very least, people will tell you that a young woman just can't draw emphasis to the fact that she's a young woman.  Well, screw that.  I like my bow on my headband and I plan to continue to wear it.  
    Lastly, this tee shirt is just a tee shirt.  I've worn it bunches of times with jeans and flats.  That's the thing though, its just a plain tee shirt, something that's not *supposed* to be in my work closet.  I, obviously, disagree.  I hate button downs and I'm having a hard time finding blouses to wear to work.  So in a pinch I've started wearing tees under jackets and they play quite nicely with my work wardrobe.  Hooray for simplicity!

The Details:

Skirt Suit: Rafaella fit + form (no longer available online)

Tee-shirt: Old Navy Similar

Hose: Hanes Similar

Heels: Nine West

Necklace: Banana Republic 


So yea, this is my way of adding some quirk and unexpectedness into a traditionally conservative outfit.  On a more real life note, its been a bit over 4 weeks since I took the bar exam again.  I should be finding out in the next couple of days whether I passed.  I've been a lot more zen about it than I thought I would.  From the beginning I've felt like I passed, but there's obviously no guarantee.  Hopefully I'll have some good news for you all sometime soon.  How do you normally handle waiting for results?   

Less than 10

     Soooo, what do you do when you look pregnant in pictures but you're not?  That's the impression that I'm getting from this outfit.  It could be that when I put the suit jacket on in a hurry to take these pictures before the sun set,  I put it on weird, but I don't know.  The bad thing is that now I'm self-conscious about the fit.  I'm hoping that when I wear it again I'll be able to figure out if I *really* do look like I'm growing a bump or if it was a freak occurence or what.  I'm also really hoping that when I wear the jacket with the matching skirt it will look normal.  I need some feedback guys, do I look pregnant or is it just my imagination?

Pattern!

     On another note, this jacket is from a skirt suit that I bought just before going back to work 2 weeks ago.  I had to get the skirt hemmed, but I am in LOVE with the suit (except for the aforementioned baby bump issues).  I know that in the far away pictures it reads gray, but up close its a really cool black on gray stripey pattern deal.  The skirt has a really sweet ruffle that's just the right amount of feminine and cute without distracting from the formality of a suit.  Be on the lookout for this suit on the blog as I'm wearing it today and will hopefully post it later this week.

    Speaking of the blog, The Fiance made a comment to me on Friday that it had been a while since I posted.  Now, I know that he checks in on the blog every now and again, but I had no idea he kept track of how often I posted or even the length of my posts.  He did not appreciate that last Monday's post was the last time I posted nor that it was a short post.  So that made me wonder, what do you guys think about my posting schedule?  I try to keep posting regularly on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7 am eastern time.  Last week posting didn't happen on that schedule as I didn't get home in time any day to take pictures in day light.  Sadly, several of last week's pictures were really cute.  I guess I'll just have to repeat them.  

     Considering that I don't always have a chance to check in with my Reader every day, how often do you check out blogs?  Is there a number of times a week that there is too much posting? too little?

The Details:

Suit: Rafaella (via Belk) Fitted Blazer

T-Shirt: Ann Taylor (gift)

Pants: Gap Similar in Navy

Heels: Nine West

Lavender Pearls: by me Similar

alley chic

    Woo outfit post!  This outfit post is brought to you by my lovely Fiance.  You see, last week after taking the bar, I took advantage of some free time and wandered around the mall.  I just went to look.  THEN I stepped into Ann Taylor Loft and had a very serious dilemma.  I found this gorgeous brown velvet blazer that was on final sale for $19.99.  I tried it on and liked it.  Then the salesperson told me that it was marked down an additional 40% and would end up around $14.  Suddenly, I had fallen in love.  I didn't buy it right then because I wanted to really think through this (albeit small) purchase.  So I left the mall and thought about it.  

     Well I thought about it all weekend and decided I wanted it.  Originally, the Fiance and I were going to meet up at Target in town on Wednesday to do some shopping.  I was going to take that opportunity of being in town to head to the mall to buy the blazer.  Well the Fiance wasn't feeling it on Wednesday, so I asked him very nicely if he would go to the mall on his way home and get the jacket for me.  His original answer on Monday was no, that he didn't know where he was going and would be tired and wouldn't know what it was I wanted.  The next day I took the initiative and called Loft and asked them to put the jacket aside for me in my size.  That night, I again asked the Fiance to go get it for me as now it was set aside.  He lovingly acquiesced.  And so I sent him a map of the mall signaling where Loft is located so he would know EXACTLY where to go.  I even sent him a link to the jacket so he would know what he was getting too.  Wednesday night arrived and the Fiance walked in with a Loft bag and my awesome new blazer.

Laughing at myself

     Thinking about it as long as I did really made me fall in love with the blazer.  As soon as I got it home, I tried it on and was hit with inspiration lighting as I knew that I just *had* to pair it with this skirt.  And then I realized that the Tsubo Hepti booties were perfect.  You see, I had seen Heather Armstrong of Dooce wear a pencil skirt, tights + booties combination before and loved it on her.  So this outfit was born.  I felt super chic all day long with my new velvet blazer.  That and its kind of hard to not feel spectacular wearing these Tsubo Shoes.  

alley chic?

The Detailss:

T-shirt: NY&Co. Similar: Here

Blazer: Loft (no longer available online, but call your nearest store just in case.  Online told me it wasn't available near me when I knew there was a whole rack's worth of jackets at the mall).

Skirt: NY&Co. Similar

Tights: Merona (target) In Black

Boots: Tsubo Hepti (no longer available) 

   

     P.S. I took these pictures in the parking lot/alley behind my office.  I'm laughing hysterically in the above picture because I was just waiting for someone I knew (read another lawyer) to come out and ask what the hell I was doing posing for pictures with my camera perched on a dumpster in an alley behind our office.  If you're an outfit blogger--where is the silliest/craziest/most interesting place you've taken outfit pictures?

I'm back!

     Hi Everyone!  I'm back from the hell that is bar study and bar exam taking.  To tell you the truth, I have really missed blogging.  Its going to take me a really long time to catch up on reading blogs as there are currently 400+ unread items.  I'm guessing "mark all as read" will be making itself known in a day or so.  Anyway, I feel really good about the bar and hopefully in a month I'll be planning out my swearing in.  Thanks for all of your support too--you guys are the best!
   Not only is today my return to blogging, its also my first day back from work.  I took all of 2 days off and I'm back to the grind.  I wish I could take more time off, but such is life.  Part of me is excited to get back to the grind and immerse myself in work, part of me is not so thrilled.  I want to take a few more days to sleep in, watch tv all day, and hang out with Bella.  I'll be taking full advantage of my weekends though.  
    One super exciting thing I'm looking forward to is revamping my home office.  Right now I have a beautiful desk The Fiance gave me a few years ago for my birthday.  I absolutely love it.  My office chair and bookcases, on the other hand SUCK.  I'm looking forward to replacing several pieces of my office furniture.  For example, I want a new office chair, a desk lamp and some bookcases.  I'm thinking some artwork would be good too.  What, for you, is a must have in your office or working space? 

*This is a CSN sponsored post*

Brief Hiatus

     Happy Monday.  Today is Valentine's Day, so Happy Valentine's Day to you too!  Today is 8 days from the bar exam.  Yup, that big bad test will take place Feb. 22nd and 23rd.  As a result, I'm going to take a brief hiatus for the rest of February to concentrate all of my energies on the bar and then recovering from actually taking the bar.  I may post something between now and then, but more than likely, I'll be back on or about March 1. Til then, I leave you with this beautiful picture I took with my iPhone of the Fiance's Mustang at sunset.  

Post of Many Names

    This post could go by several names: To my mother, Where the Sidewalk Ends, The Little Post that Almost Wasn't, Third time's the charm. . .  Essentially, I wrote the post about my mom over a week ago.  It took wearing the outfit 3 times (yes I do laundry) to finally get decent pictures, something I wasn't sure would happen.  The sidewalk behind me literally ends right there.  So yea, here goes. (finally)
    I (originally) wore this outfit a week and a half ago on  Thursday when I went on a quick grocery trip.  I actually wore it that night and decided to recreate the outfit so that I could get good pictures (again).  But that's not the point of the post.  This is about my mom.  (When I originally put the outfit together) I was standing in my closet and grabbed my new pair of black jeggings.  I knew I wanted to wear them with my new Tsubo Hepti booties.  But then, what else to wear?  I didn't want to be weighed down by a coat, so I looked in my sweater section of my closet.  I decided to go with this soft caramel colored sweater.  And, yes, it used to be my mom's.  This was also part of the haul that my sister brought me after her Christmas break.  

     I've always loved this sweater.  The color is a soft neutral that works with everything.  It is also the perfect length.  A lot of sweaters that I've seen lately are way too long for me.  I get that a lot of tall ladies prefer the availability of long sweaters and shorter gals may like long sweaters with leggings, but for a short curvy gal like me, a shorter sweater works best with skirts and pants.  To add to the list of awesome characteristics, this sweater isn't all that bulky either.  Its not skin tight, but it does highlight my figure.  All in all, I love this sweater.

     Naturally when I grabbed this sweater I was thinking about my mom.  In fact, my mom probably wore some version of this outfit 20-30 years ago.  Thinking that makes me feel connected to her, even though she is several hundred miles and several hours worth of a plan ride away.  Little did I know when I threw on the sweater and stepped out my door that she would end up text messaging me.  Apparently my poor mother has a kidney stone (still) and spent all of that Thursday in the Emergency Room.  They gave her pain killers, but she expressly told my sister and me that she would rather give birth to several babies in a row than have to deal with a kidney stone.  While it was hilarious to hear her say this, I felt really bad.  She's so far away and only has my dad to take care of her.  I know they're adults and have lived on their own for a while, but I feel at least marginally guilty that I can't be there to help her out.  

Isn't the zipper just killer?

    If you want to know the story about these booties--Check out my review of them here. 

 Do you feel connected to people through your clothes?  Is your closet a way to feel close to your loved ones?

The Details:

Sweater: Carara (thrifted) Similar Also Similar

Jeggings: Old Navy

Booties: Tsubo Hepti in Dark Chocolate Suede/Terracota  And for a limited time $2.95 flat rate shipping from 2/1 to 2/14!

Playa

We went to the beach again yesterday.  It was warm and sunny and fantastic!  We took a long 30 minute walk, sat around for a while, then walked back toward the car.  I had a whole long post in my head detailing how I got to picking out this maxi dress, but, well, I'll save it for some other time. 

The Details:

Maxi Dress: Target Same Dress in Purple

and in Blue and yet more!

T-shirt: Old Navy Similar

Cardigan: Target Similar with Frills

Shoes: Target Super Similar

Earrings: gift

Sunglasses: Guess

Jumping for joy at the weather!