June 24, 2010

My Friend Neubia

    While studying for the bar, there aren't a whole lot of things to entertain.  Lately we've been playing the World Cup on our computers while watching our bar video lectures on the projector.  Another thing that's entertaining?  The Blog.  Last week both Jenn and Neubia showed up looking cute.  Since I've already shown you Jenn's cute outfit, this is Neubia's outfit post.
    My favorite part of Neubia's outfit is her shoes.  These sandals are so cute and a great alternative to the plastic ON flip flops that I've been wearing for the past 2 weeks.  To me, sandals tend to either be plastic flip flops or heels.  Neubia's super awesome sandals have shown me that a great (and cheap!) alternative exists.  These set Neubia back only $15 at Burlington Coat Factory.  I also really liked how Neubia embraced plaid and took the green from the plaid and incorporated it in her top. 
    When I was talking to her about her outfit, she told me that the whole thing cost less than $25.  She also told me that the reason she was looking cute was because her boyfriend was coming in to town for the night.  She wanted to make sure he knew she could look cute and didn't just live in sweats (which, by the way, is the standard girl bar study outfit).
    This started my thinking muscles.  Why do we dress cute and for who do we do it?  As Neubia told me, she was dressing for her boyfriend.  Without judging Neubia, I think a lot of women, certainly myself included, often dress for others, and especially for those we are attracted to (ie. men for straight women, women for gay women, etc).  This brings to mind preening.  I find myself in front of the mirror for much longer when I'm dressing to impress The Fiance.  And even though he is the intended audience, I also do it for myself.  I dress up and apply makeup and preen to feel good about myself.  If it didn't feel good to look my best, I wouldn't do it.  I do it for me.  
    But what about when we dress up and preen for others?  Does that make it any less good or even bad?  Is it "bad" to dress for others?  I would say that using words like "good" and "bad" don't really apply in this context.  They are overbroad and don't really apply as they are value judging words and this isn't a context in which value should be assessed.  Rather, I would say that "healthy" and conversely "unhealthy" are more appropriate.  While it is unhealthy to look outside of ourselves for approval and to judge our attractiveness and self-worth by the way others perceive us all the time, I don't think its unhealthy to look to others for cues some of the time.  What I mean is that its natural to look to others for social cues and opinions on what we're wearing and how we look.  It becomes unhealthy when we base our entire opinion of ourselves on others' opinions and allow the outside to decide how we feel inside.  So while I like to look cute and preen for special occasions for The Fiance, what matters is that I do it because I feel good, not because he requires or expects it. 


The Details:
Tank: ON
Pants: Megathrift 
Shoes: Burlington Coat Factory

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