April 26, 2010

Compliments

(yes, I know I said I probably wouldn't blog this week and here I am blogging. Sue me)

I was scanning my Google reader Saturday night (yes, I'm just that cool) and read through The Glamourous Grad Student's Weekend Reads.   I skimmed her post and decided to click on this
Accepting compliments gracefully is a skill we should all learn.
    And you know what?  I'm a fan.  I know I'm not the best at accepting compliments.  You just have to ask The Fiance for proof, but I have come to realize that sometimes, other people actually like what I'm wearing, doing and saying and how I'm wearing doing and saying it!  AND THEY MEAN IT!  So how does a formerly-ish insecure chick like me deal with compliments?  By saying Thank You.  It really is the simplest, easiest and least awkward way to accept a compliment.  
    But you may be wondering why I've chosen to post about compliments, yes?  Sally of Already Pretty sums it up incredibly well in her post Being Seen:
A few weeks ago, I ran into a coworker as she was leaving for the day and we walked to the parking garage together. I was wearing some pretty wild tights and she complimented me on them. She said she admired my bold style, but didn’t feel compelled to wear such loud, attention-getting clothing and accessories herself. Not every day, anyway.

She said, “When I wear this one really bright, patterned sweater that I have, people comment on it all day long. And the comments are positive, but sometimes I think, ‘I can’t wear that today, I just can’t deal with all the attention.’ Most of the time, I dress to be invisible.”

I understood this sentiment. Completely.
[ditto]

In high school and college, I dressed to blend in. My desire to belong was so overpowering, that I simply followed the flock, paying absolutely no heed to what I actually liked or what looked good on my bod. I was invisible back then, and that’s exactly what I wanted. As someone who caught a lot of flak for being an overachieving, chubby, socially awkward kid, I wanted nothing more than to sink right into the wallpaper. And I dressed for camouflage. [emphasis added by me]
  The problem for me isn't the act of accepting a compliment, a simple thank you isn't that hard.  Its the idea that someone *wants* to compliment me.  After my little friends not so subtly telling me I wasn't pretty, I quite seriously wanted to be invisible.  Mean girls can't tell you mean things if you're invisible, right?  So I did my best not to call attention to myself, and if I did so, it was unfathomable that someone would actually compliment me sincerely.  
    Fast forward to last Tuesday.  I was feeling adventurous and proud of myself for fitting into this mini-skirt.  I bought it the summer of 2005 and haven't worn since maybe Spring 2006.  I gained weight and just hasn't fit since then, UNTIL I was able to wear it again last week.  It was a smidge chilly so I decided this outfit would be the last hoorah for tights.  And really, there is no other way I could wear this skirt to school if not for the tights.  So I got my killer outfit together and headed out.  And you know what?  Almost 10 different women complimented me on my necklace.  It was so bizarre.  
    I'm not 100% sure how this transformation happened or even when it started (other than the blog and blogging has helped), but at least now I'm ok with standing out, wearing a mini-skirt and getting compliments.  

The Details:
3/4 sleeve top: Nautica
Mini: Mango (you can have one of your very own here)
Tights: Hanes
Boots: Target
Necklace: Target 


4 comments:

Sal said...

Thanks for the shout-out, beautiful! And I'm so glad to hear you rocked that mini and soaked up the compliments. They were well-deserved!

A-C said...

Thank you Sally! I felt like I was rocking a "Sally vibe" that day with the mini + boots.

Seriously though, Thank you so much for your blog. I know I'm not the only one who has been (positively) affected by your blog. Keep at it lady.

La Historiadora de Moda said...

Good on ya for coming so far and for rocking that miniskirt!

What Would a Nerd Wear said...

you go, girl! sometimes it's the confidence that gets the compliments, and it's clear you had it today.

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