December 29, 2009

Twirling away

 Me: twirling my life away

    I was thinking about the picture above this morning while I was showering and how it somehow manages to symbolize the way I'm feeling right now.  I find it odd yet beautiful that only my face and parts of my feet  are in focus but the rest of me is floaty and up in the air.  I feel that way about life right now.  I know I've got my feet firmly planted to the ground, I'm grounded in reality, and I've got my head on straight, but everything else is up in the air.  You see, I'm big on making lists and planning things out.  I'm ok if things don't go according to plan, I don't freak out, but I like having a plan anyway, just in case.  But I'm just not able to make a plan right now.  Sure, there are inevitable things.  I will graduate in May.  I will spend my summer studying for the bar.  I'll take the bar exam in July and then. . .  Then everything gets hazy, like my arms in the picture.  I want so badly to say I will get married on X date and I'll be working at Y starting on Z date.  But I can't.  And that sucks.      

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference


La Historiadora de Moda said...

Oh, woman! I feel ya! I'm defending my dissertation in the spring and graduating, but who knows where I will be next year.... The academic job market sucks right now. So I've just been focusing on the things that I can control.

A-C said...

I definitely do that too. But in the back of my mind there's this big dark void starting in August. And of course my loan payments start being due in November. So THATS fun to think about.

Not that it helps either of us, but its nice to know I'm not the only one in this horrendous boat. Good Luck with your search!

Savvy Gal said...

I found out the only constant in life is change. I think as long as you have your feet planted firmly to the ground then you are good to go. : ) happy new year.

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